On Tuesday, I slid through an intersection and almost hit a turning semi-truck. I decided immediately that I needed new tires and brakes ASAP, so as soon as I got to work, I told my boss I was dropping off my car at a local body shop. They assured me the car would be done in a reasonable amount of time. Fast forward to Thursday morning, and I still didn't have my car back. My husband had to drive from Delphos to Lima to Van Wert to take me to work each morning. It was less than convenient for anyone. When I would call the body shop, they would tell me they were waiting on the parts. And though it inconvenienced me, I always responded, "Alright. Call me when you know something."
Yesterday, they finally called and told me the car was done. When I arrived, they informed me they gave me a discount because "very few people would have been as patient as you were." I could write a whole blog about how grateful I am about the discount (and I'm so grateful because it was already EXPENSIVE); however, I really focused more on what he said to me.
"Very few people would have been as patient as you were."
Two thoughts went through my head:
1) I asked myself, "Am I too passive?"
2) But then I asked myself, "Why are other people so aggressive?"
My passivity is something I've waffled over my entire life. My passivity has caused me to be taken advantage of on multiple occasions, but it's also allowed me to be someone others feel able to approach and confide in. I've been told by plenty of people close to me that I need to "stand up for myself," but truthfully, I don't know what that looks like because there are very few situations that bring me to anger (and I'm talking ANGER...not "why won't anyone help me pick up the house?" frustration). So, I really thought last night: was this something I should have been upset over?
You might disagree with the conclusion I came to. I asked myself a few questions that I challenge you to ask yourself next time you feel your blood starting to boil. Or if you're like me, ask yourself these questions next time you feel like your blood should be boiling, but it isn't
To my fellow pacifists out there, keep being graceful, BUT make sure you're asking yourself the questions that will keep you from being a doormat. To my bolder friends, I envy you, BUT make sure you're also asking yourself the questions that will keep you from taking out your frustrations on people who have no control over the situation.
Life is hard. It's hard for everyone. If we meet in the middle, we can all enjoy a little peace.